"Okay take your time
Don't live too fast
Troubles will come and they will pass.
Be a simple kind of man
Be something you love and
Understand." Lynyrd Skynyrd
In this final Healer Coaching tip for 2013-2014, I'm expounding on Dr. Robert Solomon's fourth point regarding reinventing romance. "Do not intentionally harm one another".
Most of us do not enter relationships to create harm, but when in the middle of storm, we often go for the gusto, not doing damage control.
Slay anger and you will be happy,
slay anger and you will not sorrow.
For the slaying of anger in all its forms
with its poisoned root and sweet sting -
that is the slaying the nobles praise;
with anger slain one weeps no more.
Saṃyutta Nikāya 1.187
Making the decision to stop suffering/stressing is the first step. There is intention setting, holding the vision/wishing to be kind, monitoring one's thoughts speech and actions daily, learning to observe with dispassion one's own mind with its array of stories and emotions, and learning practical tools to clean up our messes.
We're building the container to house our deep desire to be happy, happier.
There are other paths one can follow to become peaceful and at ease, since many of your role models may not practice Mindfulness. Look at what your role models have in common. Do they not share a deep compassion for others, a desire to do no harm, a great wish to foster peace? Do they not also make us laugh at our own foibles, even as they teach us how to live with greater joy?
Most of us don't want to undertake a path of virtuous living because it looks hard, nor in our mind does the path provide the cheap or expensive thrills and chills to which we have become accustomed. Why would I give up things that have given me, in the short run, some great joy?
Whether that's going for that second drink, getting boobs enhanced, taking what I want when I want, striking out in anger or raking oneself/others over the coals, or telling that small white lie? And that's just what I can remember. What about all that internal negative or positive chatter framing every move we make? The list of thrills and chills is endless.
I subscribe to the notion that each individual can lead in his or her life. We can learn tools. We can practice. And we can take full responsibility for our conduct.
The less harm I do to myself, the less harm I do to others. We re-orient our thinking to let go blame. What else do you have with your time on this earth except to become something you love? I mean, really, what else is there?
None of us can become truly happy inside and out on our own. That's why I'm teaching Mastering a Centered Presence, a hands-on webinar starting March. You'll get practice working from the inside out, gaining confidence using mindfulness and somatic tools that help you get unstuck from behaviors hampering your desire to be peaceful.
Thank you everyone for staying the course with me this past year. What a joyous ride!
"Okay take your time