The End of War

"War, huh, yeah, what's it good for?
Absolutely nothing. Uh-huh.
War, huh, yeah...
There's got to be a better way..."  -Edwin Starr  
 
Since I've finally settled an almost 9 year legal dispute, I can say, unequivocally, that war is "nothing but a heart breaker." Whether we fight family members, spouses, neighbors, friends, employees, employers, companies, or countries, everyone loses, even the so- called winners.  
 
Whatever exuberance we feel when we finally walk away is tethered to Relief, Sadness, and Fatigue. Wars fought on home ground or foreign guarantee heartbreak.
 
We start off the fight with high hopes that "our side"-- our viewpoint is right. Some of us believe that being right means something important. Course both sides feel right. It's just that my version of right differs from yours. And so we go. Back and forth, up and down, in and out, bloodied, angry, tired, frustrated, shamed, with a modicum of relief (R&R) thrown in for good measure, so that we can reenter the battle, refreshed (re-read The Power of Retreat Tip 8/13/2013).
 
What is it that shackles us to our views that we are willing to give up everything? Believing that our fight is justified we throw mindfulness out the window, quickly becoming indentured to a cause that does not support the quest for freedom.  
 
Working with a coach when you are preparing to fight or already in the fray can help you regain perspective, supporting you to break the chains tying you to a particular viewpoint. 
 
In the end it's only suffering. It's all suffering. I'm starting to realize that by holding fast to my viewpoints I am binding myself to a life without compassion, kindness or ease. How do you recognize if you are tied to a point of view?  Look at your stories.  
 
Pay attention to the emotional register. Angry? Resentful? A constipated point of view does not lead to peace of mind. Let it go. Call me if you need help

Posted on September 24, 2013 and filed under September 2013.