Making the decision to stop suffering/stressing is the first step. There is intention setting, holding the vision/wishing to be kind, monitoring one's thoughts speech and actions daily, learning to observe with dispassion one's own mind with its array of stories and emotions, and learning practical tools to clean up our messes.
As promised in December, I'm going to expound on Dr. Robert Solomon's advice for reinventing romance. Steps two and three of the four, 'Open, honest communication and supporting each other's commitments.
When I wrote in December, about Dr. Solomon's tips for reinventing romance in modern times, I promised to expound on each tip in January. His book, Reinventing Romance, focused on an altruistic view of love that opens the lens of a relationship to allow for growth, change, endings, etc. The first step, he pointed out, is our willingness or desire to build a life a together.