By the time I was fourteen I believed I knew (most teenagers are "know-it-alls") what was important in terms of my personal values. The arguments my parents so vociferously articulated, I ardently deflected. Not always a winner in these "family feuds," but I did get in the ring and fight the good fight for peace and freedom, two qualities that seemed quite elusive.
When I was twenty years old, I made the decision to leave Canada, fly solo to Europe. Although I had a round trip ticket, I knew intuitively that this trip was only going one way. I experienced many highs and lows, anxiety, guilt, impatience, doubt, but overall I learned to simply let go of everything I believed. Enjoying the ride even when I had no idea where the ride might take me. Who knew when I started where I would find myself!
We get up, we fall down; we get back up again. And that's life! But there are times when getting back up is more challenging than anticipated. Whether the fall is a serious one, or we simply believe the blow we have suffered takes us right out of the game, something happens, and we need help to re-ignite our pilot light.
For this reason, I researched and wrote the book, Navigating Tomorrow to show that despite the perceived obstacles we encounter when we experience change, we can reduce the time and energy we spend going in circles. Learn how to get ourselves unstuck from these strong emotions pulling and pushing us one way or the other. Reinventing your life requires patience, courage; the spaciousness to letting go of what you believe should happen so that you can fully experience what is happening. Reinvention is both art and science. I interviewed a variety of famous and infamous people to demonstrate that all of us, no matter what our station in life can get back in the game-even if it's a new game.
When I went down for the count, I became acutely aware that many people around me were also experiencing major changes. I was not alone. From the separation of loved ones, divorce, health issues, career endings, or job losses, the list of endings we encounter is long. What we share in common are certain beliefs that make it more difficult to start over. We believe that the game(s) we are playing will not end. Even though we all can agree that things never stay the same, we want our lives to stay the same. So when things change, we get pissed off. We blame others, life, the situation etc., for what has happened. We fight the endings. We vote NO to change.
So how do you stop life, events, people from changing? You don't. First we have to acknowledge the ending, the change. Once we accept the ending, we are freer to take action. For some folks, trying a new vocation or avocation helps them stabilize themselves so they can make the effort to live life more fully. Others spend time exploring their heart held values, getting in touch with what truly matters. Action relieves depression. The Navigating Tomorrow three keys to reinvention: Vision, Structure and Skills guide readers to better understand the value and benefits of coaching and practice, practice, practice.
Navigating Tomorrow is a self-coaching workbook to re-ignite your pilot light. You can:
1. Sit on the bench and wait for life to offer you something else.
2. You can be pissed off that life served you this particular event, and just sit on the bench.
3. Or, you can begin re-framing your beliefs and ideas about change so you can find your joy, again.
Finding peace and freedom within is a choice we make. It is a vision to which we can align our efforts. But it's up to each one of us to make the choice.