“You arouse me…you send tingles shooting down my spine…” - Atlantic Starr- In the Heat of Passion
When we think of passion our minds immediately tilt towards sex or romance. We think of passion as something that gets “aroused” by somebody or something else. Passion, we tell ourselves, is triggered by external stimuli from our lovers, to our hobbies, that feeling of euphoria when we’re holding a wad of cash or we’re wiping the sweat off our brow after a great lovemaking session or a great workout. But like B.B King says what happens when “The Thrill is Gone?”
We may find ourselves at this crossroads at any point in life, but certainly as we approach our middle years after doing the same thing, in the same way, over and over again, we realize with some sadness, even anger, that our passion for life has waned. We begin to ask ourselves “Is this all there is?”
Or possibly something happens to us, like an illness, or the loss of someone close, or that one thing we were counting on to make our lives better which doesn’t materialize. Suddenly we’re looking around to find someone or something to blame for the flatness we’re experiencing. But just as we can’t farm out our happiness to someone else it’s up to us to take ownership of our passion.
Passion is a fire that burns from within. It’s a fire that ignites the heart radiating love upward closing the perceived eighteen- inch distance separating head from heart. While the physical distance between head and heart is short, the journey to connect both can take a lifetime to accomplish.
After major surgery in my forties, I faced such a crossroads that removed my chances of bearing children. At that point, although I had not given much thought to the prospect of motherhood, the fact that my choice was taken away caused my passion for life to dwindle. So even though I was making money, had a great romantic relationship, a nice car, friends, an apartment on a lake, I wasn’t happy.
What was required couldn’t be farmed out. I needed to rekindle my passion for who I was and the life I was leading. I buckled down and came up with a solution that I share with you in the DVD as well as my Ted Talk-type live performance, “Rekindling Passion.”
I won’t give the secret away here other than say my personal pilot light re-ignited. When you find yourself in similar circumstances and you will at some point in your life, there is a solution. I’m living proof.
“Your reason and your passion are the rudder and the sails of your seafaring soul.
For reason, ruling alone, is a force confining; and passion, unattended, is a flame that burns to its own destruction. Therefore let your soul exalt your reason to the height of passion, that it may sing;
And let it direct your passion with reason, that your passion may live through its own daily resurrection, and like the phoenix rise above its own ashes. You too should rest in reason and move in passion.”
Kahlil Gibran, The Prophet
Rhona Post, The Healer Coach is the author of Navigating Tomorrow, a primer for managing change.